Wounds of a Friend

A true friend is a pal, someone with whom you have a trusted relationship and genuine affection. A real friend will tell you the truth—even if it might be unpleasant for you to hear—or warn you if you are going down the wrong path.

Benjamin Franklin is credited with saying, “’Tis a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his.” When you sincerely love your friend, it may be difficult to put your friendship “on the line” by telling him that he is making a mistake by doing something unwise. You are more likely to see objectively, while he may be blinded by his desires, emotions, and expectations. In such situations, you may risk losing your friendship.

Because you deeply care for your friend, you don’t want him to be harmed by foolish actions. You may be frank or even blunt, hoping he will hear your warning and avoid the consequences of a bad decision. Henry Ward Beecher, a clergyman and lecturer, said, “It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. So, to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship.”

Robert Louis Stevenson, a Scottish author and poet, said, “We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” An honest friend will tell us what we need to hear, even if it is not what we want to hear.

If we are humble enough to admit it, we know we make mistakes. A good friend will not be a fault-finder; he will instead give us good council to help us “get our head on straight” and back on course, as we should also do for our friends. Just as a doctor is obligated to tell his patients their true conditions, so a true friend should tell his friend when he sees him about to make a serious error.

A false friend may not only excuse our wrong actions but may facilitate or participate in our fault. If so, he is not a true friend but an enemy, contributing to our downfall.

This friendship principle is in the Bible. Proverbs 27:5–6 says, “Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Perhaps there is no better-known example of the “kisses of an enemy” than that of Judas, who betrayed Jesus with a kiss—a prearranged signal to the chief priests, Pharisees, and soldiers he led to arrest Jesus.

A true friend’s rebuke will make us a better person. Many have heard of the proverb about iron sharpening iron being like a man sharpening the countenance of his friend (Proverbs 27:17). King David of Israel said in Psalm 141:5, “Let the righteous strike me; it shall be a kindness. And let him rebuke me; it shall be as excellent oil; let my head not refuse it.” While it may be painful to take at the time, loving rebuke is like oil, benefiting our health.

God Himself disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6).

It is old wisdom to choose our friends carefully (Proverbs 12:26). We should choose good friends who will care for our well-being, as we also should do for them.

The greatest friend we can have is our Savior, Jesus Christ—who indeed was wounded for us. He said of His disciples, “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15).

Make Jesus your friend. For more about having Jesus as your friend, read the article “The Friend You Need Most” right here at Tomorrow’s World.