Are You an Independent Woman?

In 1999, Destiny’s Child wrote and performed the popular 1999 song “Independent Woman,” which included repetition of the words “I depend on me.” In 2008, singer-songwriter Ne-Yo released “Miss Independent,” in which he described an independent woman he holds in high regard, noting that she is the “kind of woman that can do for herself.” More recently, Miley Cyrus’ 2023 song “Flowers,” released after her divorce, contained the lyrics “I can buy myself flowers /  Write my name in the sand /  Talk to myself for hours /  Say things you don’t understand /  I can take myself dancing / And I can hold my own hand.”

Clearly, modern society endorses those considered to be independent women, referring mainly to those who believe themselves independent from “a man,” particularly in their ability to make their “own” money. Christian women, however, know that the two sexes occupy different roles, by which they can complement each other. In a strong marriage, the two depend on each other to reach common goals, and this cooperation is a beautiful thing. 1 Corinthians 11:11 points out that “neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord.” Men and women need each other to become better versions of themselves.

Another deceptive aspect of the heralded “independent women” is the idea that such people can truly do everything by themselves, promoting pride and total self-reliance. This is simply not true of anyone at any stage in life. Kids are dependent on their parents. Most adults depend on their employers to earn an income, unless they are self-employed—in which case, they depend on customers to buy their services or products. We human beings need food, and we need the sun for that food to grow. We need fresh sources of water. We need shelter, health, and protection from the dangerous elements of the world. We need peace of mind to function well. We need a Higher Power to give us life in the first place.

While we should work diligently, we must know that we ultimately depend on God for all our needs. He has given us everything we can see and contemplate. “He has made the earth by His power; He has established the world by His wisdom, and stretched out the heaven by His understanding…. He is the Maker of all things” (Jeremiah 51:15, 19). We depend on God for wisdom, of which He is the giver (Proverbs 2:6; James 1:5). He is the One who protects us, often using His angels as His instruments (Psalm 91:11–12). He is referred to as a strong tower, keeping the righteous safe (Proverbs 18:10).

Both sunlight and the food it grows come from our Creator (Genesis 1:16; 9:3; Matthew 5:45; Psalm 136:25; 146:7; Luke 12:24). Water, which everything living needs to survive, is also provided by our God and Maker (Job 38:28). God is the source of healing, providing comfort to the brokenhearted and the wounded, and He calls Himself “the Lord who heals you” (Exodus 15:26; Psalm 147:3). He provides shelter (Isaiah 4:6), and He is our help in times of trouble (Psalm 34:4; 46:1). Our peace of mind also comes from God (Philippians 4:7; l Thessalonians 5:23), because our very life and the gift of our salvation come from Him (Psalm 41:2; Psalm 62:1–2). God wants us to remember that He has promised to meet all our needs (Philippians 4:19)—after all, everything under the heavens is His (Job 41:11).

While being capable in what we can do and being responsive to the needs of others, we should acknowledge daily that we are never independent from God. We also need the help of others throughout our lives, if we want to be well-adjusted women. It is not a bad thing to need help. In fact, realizing we need God and others in our lives allows us to retain humility as we acknowledge who and what we are in the proper perspective. Compared to God, we are all as temporary as mist—and He understands that (Psalm 39:5; 103:14).

So, are you an independent woman? We should not be at all ashamed to say that we are very dependent on God. Ultimately, we get everything from Him, the Father of Lights on whom we rightly depend—the source of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17).