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The War against Parents

The War against Parents

God made male and female (Matthew 19:4), designing both sexes for procreation and stable families. In this video, learn from Gerald Weston what the Bible says about gender roles and how to honor your father and mother.

[The text below represents an edited transcript of this Tomorrow’s World program.]

Confusion and Gender-Bending Rhetoric

Motherhood and Fatherhood are under assault today. Broad based attempts by academia, governments, businesses, and yes, even some churches, are attempting to do away with terms such as Mother and Father, Mom and Dad. As reported in this March 10, 2021 New York Post article:

A Manhattan private school aiming to use more “inclusive language” is encouraging its students to stop using the terms “mom,” “dad” and “parents” because the words make “assumptions” about kids’ home lives (“NYC school encourages kids to stop using words like ‘mom,’ ‘dad’ in ‘inclusive language’ guide,” NYPost.com).

Grace Church School serves junior kindergarten through 12th grade students in Noho, New York, and offers a twelve-page guide for students and staff on making this Episcopal school all inclusive. The guide explains that instead of using Mom and Dad, students and staff should use “grown-ups, folks, or family.” And instead of “husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend” they should use “spouse, partner, or significant other” (“Grace Inclusive Language Guide”).

There is no end to guides published by institutions of learning, businesses, governments, and the media on how to revolutionize how we speak to one another. Everything is included except what has been normal for most of mankind’s history. Where is this downgrading of Mothers and Fathers going to take us? Stay with me as I’ll not only use terms such as “Mom” and “Dad” on today’s program, but will honor mothers and fathers everywhere.

Disrespecting God-Given Roles for Women and Men

Every year in the United States, Canada, and elsewhere, people celebrate parents with Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. In some countries, especially in South American Catholic countries, Mother’s Day celebrates Mary, the mother of Jesus, but that has no relevance to North American celebrations. Thanks to the determination of Anna Jarvis to honor her own mother, and the financial backing of Philadelphia merchant, John Wanamaker,

… in 1914, President Woodrow Wilson approved a resolution that made the second Sunday in May a holiday in honor of “that tender, gentle army, the mothers of America” (“Father’s Day 2023,” History.com, May 15, 2023)

Honoring fathers was not so easy for a variety of reasons, and it would not be until 1972 when President Richard Nixon would proclaim Father’s Day a federal holiday.

Much of the reason it took so long is because men and women are simply different, as difficult as that is to accept by today’s social engineers. As History.com explains:

The campaign to celebrate the nation’s fathers did not meet with the same enthusiasm–perhaps because, as one florist explained, “fathers haven’t the same sentimental appeal that mothers have.”

The differences between men and women go beyond perception.

One woman who understands not only the physical differences, but the differences between what men ought to be, is swimmer Riley Gaines. From this New York Post article discussing Gaines’ reaction to having to share a locker room and swim against a 6’4 male who claims to be a female, we read the following:

Trans rights activists say trans women are real women and must be included in sports.

Gaines, who comes from Tennessee and swam for the University of Kentucky team, said America needs “more masculine men” and praised World War II veterans.

“That’s the last time we had strong men,” she said.

“Think about this: 1940s, World War II. Men lied about their age to get in to enlist. Now, in 2023, we have men lying about their sex to get into women’s sports or women’s prisons or domestic shelters or sororities or bathrooms, locker rooms.”

She blames society for rebranding “masculinity as toxic and bad and undesirable” (“Lia Thomas so ‘well-endowed’ I had to ‘refrain from looking’: Riley Gaines,” August 5, 2023).

Now there’s a strong woman, not only in the pool, but in public discourse, ready to stand up for truth and fairness—and frankly, plain sanity!

Consider the reality women swimmers face when competing against men.

By the conclusion of Thomas’s swimming career at UPenn in 2022, Thomas’ rank skyrocketed from 65th for men to 1st in the female 500-yard freestyle, and from 554th for men to 5th for women in the 200-yard freestyle.

Who in his or her right mind refuses to admit the obvious?

Men and women are different and those differences are critical beyond athletics. They are critical in the way we interact and in the roles we play in society as a whole. Both dads and moms are needed for a well-ordered society. Mothers tend to be more nurturing. Fathers, even by the nature of their deeper voices, but also by their demeanor and ability to suppress emotions when needed, tend to keep better discipline in the family. There are exceptions, of course, but these are general traits, and both are needed—and sound-minded people know this!

Our world has always been flawed and this is especially true when it comes to male/female relationships, with extremes at both ends of the pendulum. Women have been oppressed in some cultures, especially in parts of the Middle East and Asia, where oppressive clothing styles, denial of formal education, and abusive punishments are a far cry from how God intended when He created Eve to be Adam’s helper. But in our Western nations, many women have cast off all cooperative effort to become competitors of men—and neither extreme is working!

We here at Tomorrow’s World believe in God-given roles for men and women. We believe in family values where both husbands and wives are to be honored.

Instruction and Discipline from Fathers to Sons

Neither of my parents were perfect, as no parents are, but I don’t doubt the love they had for me. Many years ago I used to spend a lot of time with a deacon visiting our members in Michigan. I saw him as an “old timer” at the time, but I’m now older than he was during those years we spent together. One observation he made was that everything in life appears to be backward.

“We get married,” he said, “when we know little about what real love is. We have children when we have little understanding of how to raise them. We have little income when starting out and when we need it the most. Our first home is usually small when we need a larger one for raising a family, but after the children move out, we have a large home, a full bank account, and better understanding of how to raise children.”

He stated this with a sense of humor, but there is much truth in it.

And one point that most children fail to recognize is that parents are learning how to raise them in real time. The book of Hebrews hints at this concept in the context of how God shows His love for us by chastening us from time to time. Here it is in chapter 12:9–10:

Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness (Hebrews 12:9–10).

As with most children, I received some painful correction from time to time, but corporal punishment ended by the time I reached the age of twelve. And even after that, while I was told NO on numerous occasions, I never remember being “grounded,” as they say. But, yes, there was some loving correction, administered for my good, as we read in verse 11 of Hebrews:

Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it (Hebrews 12:11).

And so parents are instructed in Proverbs 29:17:

Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul (Proverbs 29:17).

When my father said to do something, he expected it to be done, but I never remember him telling me to do something that was not reasonable or that wasn’t for my good… well, I guess there is one exception to that.

One evening when we lived in Alaska (that was before it became a State), the older girl who lived next to us, came over to show off that she could smoke. My father thought it would be funny for his six-year-old son to go over to her parents and show that he could do one better—smoke a cigar. That didn’t work out exactly as planned, but I never smoked again—so I guess it worked out well in the long run!

My parents were not “helicopter parents.” They didn’t hover over me and prevent me from learning cause and effect lessons on my own. They did want to know what I was doing and where I was going, but I could be gone most of the day playing in the woods, fishing, or playing “pick up” games of baseball or football. We learned a lot about how to set rules for ourselves, how to negotiate differences—in general, how to get along.

Now frankly, I marvel that my parents gave me as much freedom as they did; but that does not mean there were no boundaries or expectations. They never held the religious convictions I came to embrace at age 16, and I never saw my father read the Bible, but he somehow innately understood some biblical principles. As an example, he understood a principle found in Proverbs 29:15:

The rod [switch] and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother (Proverbs 29:15).

Father and Mother—Integral Parts of a Godly Family

My parents endured the Great Depression and World War II. My father served in the Army and when the war was over, he made the newly formed Air Force his career. I once asked him why he left being a photographer, taking pictures of celebrities and plane crashes, to become a first sergeant. He explained that the man in that position before him was not getting the job done, so his squadron commander offered the position to him. I knew from the testimony of others that he was highly respected in that responsibility, so I asked him why he was successful when the man before him wasn’t. Without hesitation, he said,

It was my upbringing. It did not matter whether it was my father or my older brother who also had a farm, when they told me to take the wagon down to the south forty, they expected me to do it. And they didn’t always say please.

Now don’t misunderstand, I WAS taught to say, “Please pass the potatoes” or “please pass the butter” at the dinner table. But there is a time for “please” and a time not for it. Is this not scriptural? Note Jesus’ parable of the Unworthy Servants, as found in Luke 17, beginning in verse 7.

And which of you, having a servant plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field, “Come at once and sit down to eat”? But will he not rather say to him, “Prepare something for my supper, and gird yourself and serve me till I have eaten and drunk, and afterward you will eat and drink”? Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I think not. So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, ‘We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do” (Luke 17:7–10).

Without a strong guiding hand from my father, I very well could have ended up as many of my fellow classmates in those turbulent decades of the 1960’s and 70’s. While my father contributed to building self-discipline, my mother contributed to broadening my education. She made sure I knew how to read and write. She enrolled me in swim lessons, got me involved in organized sports, taught me music and social graces. And, yes, she was the one who taught me how to use a hammer and a saw—something that many boys today don’t know how to do. She also taught me how to iron my clothes and make my bed, but it was my father who taught me how to polish my shoes.

There was a year that I can look back upon, that emphasizes the importance of fathers in the lives of their children. My father was deployed to Morocco in 1956 and for a full year there was not that masculine guiding hand that I needed. My mother did her best, but she simply could not carry the weight fully needed to keep a rambunctious and sometimes rebellious eleven-year-old boy in line. One conflict was over doing my piano lessons. In retrospect, it’s abundantly evident to me that as wonderful as my mother was, I also needed my father at that time. Remember, there was no Internet back then and transatlantic phone calls had to be set up in advance and were infrequent. Each parent plays a different, but pivotal role, in raising children. Each, by nature is different. The sexes are NOT the same and to assert that they are is to deny the unique qualities of both man AND woman, mother AND father.

Our world is in confusion. Men and women have become fearful to express openly that they recognize the obvious—that men and women are different, that it is important for children to address parents with the loving terms “mother”, “father”, “Mom”, and “Dad.” In discounting the differences, the unique roles each play in the family relationship is lost.

God’s Instructions to Loving Parents

These distinctions are being blurred and discounted today. Social engineers are running amok in academia, government, the media, and big business. Is it any wonder that we find ourselves in such confusion and conflict when we allow confused or opportunistic men to compete in women’s sports?

None of this could happen in a world educated in the word of our Creator, but the understanding that we are a product of an all-wise and all-powerful God, has been under assault since the time of Darwin. And the correct understanding of God’s plan and way of life has been under assault for millennia. Contrary to social activists, and those they have successfully confused, God created us as male and female. When confronted by the Pharisees about the grounds for divorce, Jesus quoted from the first chapter of Genesis (Matthew 19:4–5):

And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE,’ and said, ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’?” (Matthew 19:4–5)

The Bible points out differences—different strengths and weaknesses—with both men and women. We see these differences in the way Paul spoke of the roles of each in bringing up children in 1 Thessalonians 2. First, we see the gentle nature of a women, in verse 7, where Paul uses a motherly characteristic to explain how he first came to the Thessalonians:

But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children (1 Thessalonians 2:7).

Paul later uses the masculine, fatherly approach to further explain his relationship with the Thessalonians. While still gentle, we see the more authoritative demanding characteristic of a father, with an eye for long-term success. Again, chapter 2, vv. 11–12.

You are witnesses, and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe; as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children, that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory (1 Thessalonians 2:10–12).

The Bible also points out pitfalls for both men and women, natural weaknesses expressed by both sexes that can seriously harm their households. In Proverbs 21:9, we read of a pitfall women are more inclined to fall into:

Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman (Proverbs 21:9).

This is also repeated for emphasis in chapter 25:24. Women should not disregard this instruction. But Paul warned fathers about a tendency they can have. In their zeal, they can be overly demanding of their children and cause them to want to give up trying. Here it is explained in Ephesians 6:4:

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

God has made us uniquely male and female. There are obvious variations and exceptions in terms of personalities, but we are still made, male or female. Both sexes are necessary for procreation, but both are needed for an orderly and stable society. Neither should be discounted.

If others care to enter someone else’s fantasy land, then so be it, but those grounded in the values given to us by God ought to know better.

I hope you profited and enjoyed this video.

If you found it helpful and want to learn more, be sure to get your free copy of our study guide Successful Parenting—God’s Way. Just click the link in the description or go to TWTV.ORG/Parenting.

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Thanks for watching! See you next time.


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