While the syndicated "Dear Abby" advice column in many newspapers across the U.S. has been celebrated for decades for its wit and "common sense," in the column I read the other day it was clear that "Abby" had struck out. The individual writing to "Abby" was a 16-year-old, struggling with seemingly overwhelming homosexual feelings. Struggling to deal with those feelings and failing to change them, the teen asks "Abby" for advice on how to "come out" and make his or her homosexuality public, expressing concern about how family and friends will react. "Abby's" advice? Abysmal. Let's take a look.
Strike #1: "[S]exual orientation is not a choice but something a person is born with," we are told by "Abby."
Interesting that "Abby" can take such a stand on a matter that experts in the scientific community continue to debate. In fact, one of the most public, prominent pro-homosexual organizations in America states on its website, "No one knows exactly how sexual orientation and gender identity are determined." How "Abby" came to know better than the experts and advocates is truly a mystery.
And besides, studies about potential genetic predisposition towards alcoholism and towards violence abound – some of which are compelling in many ways. Are people abandoned to these sinful behaviors or must such behaviors be redefined as acceptable if such predispositions do, indeed, exist? Of course not.
Protestations of liberal theologians aside, the fact is that homosexuality and related "gender bending" perversions are sin (Leviticus 18:22, Deuteronomy 22:5, Romans 1:26-27). We are all living with tendencies – even seemingly overpowering tendencies – to sin, but God isn't interested in leaving us where we "are." He is interested in helping us become what He desires to make of us.
But "Abby's" mistakes aren't over.
Strike #2: "...if your instincts tell you that your family will react badly, then I advise you to wait to come out until you are out of their house and self-supporting."
Without even telling the suffering individual what "reacting badly" means – leaving one with the impression that doing anything but embracing homosexuality as an acceptable lifestyle would be considered "reacting badly" – "Abby" recommends the troubled teen not share with his or her family the great spiritual challenge that he or she is going through.
God has given the family the responsibility of rearing a child towards God and godliness, of protecting and guiding a child, and of nurturing that child to become an adult who can do the same (Deuteronomy 6:7). Might as well advise, "Keep your compulsions hidden from those who are responsible for helping you overcome them." Incredible. (Send for our free booklet Successful Parenting: God's Way.)
Strike #3: "In the meantime, allow me to share two helpful resources..."
I will not share these "two helpful resources" here – suffice it to say that they are pro-homosexuality organizations. They ultimately serve to encourage and justify sinful and self-destructive behavior. The likely outcome of their "help" would be to entangle this young person even more thoroughly in the snare of sin than he or she already is.
Do not fall victim to the lie – as "Abby" has – that the only way to show compassion to someone practicing homosexuality or feeling homosexual urges is to completely accept those practices or urges as proper and good. Christ had compassion on sinners, recognizing that we are dust (Psalm 103:14). But that compassion meant that He did not condemn the sinner but He could not condone sin (John 8:11). Indeed, He died – and now lives – to save us from it.
Early in the letter the child says, "I'd give anything not to be [homosexual]." How sad that he or she has sought advice from someone who will not help that child's wish come true. And how sad that he or she will be denied knowledge of the truth that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).
Three strikes: In God's eyes, "Abby strikes out" on this one!
For more information on this subject please read the article by Roderick C. Meredith entitled "The Plain Truth About Homosexuality!".