The Fear of Missing Out

Parents who want their children to live according to the moral principles and values imparted by the Bible must recognize that they are asking those children to live differently from those in the world around them. Our children face a spiritual battle to resist the pulls of modern society, Satan’s influence, and their own sinful inclinations, so parents should prepare them for the persecution that can come from choosing to live by the Bible rather than blending in with society.

And not all temptation comes at us, whether adults or youth, head-on. Instead of facing ridicule or attacks for their beliefs, our children are often invited to join everyone else in disobeying God’s word. This happened to one of my children at school when her friends invited her to participate in Christmas celebrations. When she politely declined, her friends expressed their concerns that she was missing out on the joy of the Christmas season. Didn’t she want to get presents and spend time with family?

In recent decades, FOMO has become a popular acronym for “fear of missing out,” often used in contexts of social media and consumerism. It can be one of the main tools Satan uses to tempt our children. Instead of being persecuted for not celebrating Christmas, Easter, or Halloween, our children are invited to participate on the grounds that these pagan celebrations are “fun for children” even though they go against Scripture.

And often, the pressure to conform—especially when conformity brings presents, candy, and family time—is more effective than persecution. How can we help our children respond to the feelings of missing out that can accompany living by the Bible instead of the world’s false traditions?

Let’s consider two strategies parents can use to help their children deal with FOMO.

Teach the Truth About Popular Lies

First, parents must help their children understand what the Bible teaches about deceptive holidays. Consider Christmas. While the Bible describes the miracles associated with Jesus Christ’s birth and resurrection, it never mentions Him—or His Church—celebrating them annually. Moreover, the Bible is very clear about not worshipping God in the way the pagans do (Deuteronomy 12:29–32). Jeremiah 10:2–5 is clear that decorated trees are pagan customs and do not honor God!

The Bible is equally clear about other behaviors that we must “miss out” on. These include tattoos (Leviticus 19:28), profanity (Ephesians 4:29), and eating unclean meats (Deuteronomy 14:3–20). Society presents all of these as pleasurable things to be enjoyed, along with many other behaviors the Bible condemns.

If parents have focused on teaching the Ten Commandments and how those commandments apply to real-life situations, their children should recognize that FOMO is often just a modern way of expressing covetousness. And while it is a good starting point to focus on not coveting things, parents must show their children that we should also avoid coveting sinful activities and thoughts—no matter how much candy they could eat or fun they could have. Obedience to God is worth more than keeping pagan traditions alive, no matter the sugar and good feelings that might be associated with them.

Moreover, as children grow into teenagers and young adults, they should be shown the connections between the commandments. Covetousness, in particular, has so much in common with idolatry that the Apostle Paul was inspired to write, “Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry” (Colossians 3:5). If we want our children to keep the Ten Commandments, they must learn to reject the mindset that focuses on what they are missing—often they are only missing out on breaking God’s commandments!

Teach About the Blessings

Of course, God’s way of life is not merely about the things we should not do. Parents have another strategy available to combat the covetous FOMO mindset: They should focus on the blessings that come from actively living God’s way of life.

It’s not enough to reject pagan days of worship. When you choose to live by the Bible, you are choosing to celebrate the days God tells us to celebrate! Leviticus 23 lists seven annual Festivals that God’s faithful servants kept throughout the Old and New Testaments. Among these are Passover, the Days of Unleavened Bread, Pentecost, and the Feast of Tabernacles. God told His people that they “shall rejoice” on these days (Leviticus 23:40). God’s word gives us different opportunities to celebrate, give gifts, and spend time with one another. When God gives us His own days, we do not need pagan days to have joy. You can find more information on these meaningful days in our free study guide The Holy Days: God’s Master Plan.

When my daughter’s friends expressed dismay that she would not get any Christmas gifts, she responded that she did not need any Christmas gifts because she looked forward to the Feast of Tabernacles. She got to travel, see friends and family, and learn about God’s coming Kingdom just a few months before Christmas. As it happened, when my daughter’s teacher overheard the conversation, she asked my daughter if she could share more about the Feast of Tabernacles with the entire class. While I doubt that my daughter changed any of her classmates’ minds about keeping the Feast of Tabernacles instead of Christmas, she was able to confidently tell the other fourth graders that they did not need to pity her.

A focus on the blessings of living God’s way of life extends beyond His annual days of celebration. Christ stated, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). Keeping God’s commandments, statutes, and judgments helps all followers of Christ avoid the consequences of sin—and have happier families and great peace of mind. If parents model this at home, their children should see clearly the blessings of God’s way of life. Those blessings do not remove all trials or guarantee that everything goes our way, but they do make it far easier to reject the pressure to conform when society tells us we are missing out on something.

A Question of Priorities

As our children grow, we parents will find opportunities to let them know that all human beings miss out on various things. With every decision, we miss out on what we did not choose—this is what economists call “opportunity costs.” This applies in ways large and small—from simple decisions, such as what to have for dinner, to weighty decisions between sin and righteousness. Parents should emphasize to their children that when they choose the “pleasures of sin” (Hebrews 11:25), they miss out on righteousness. Conversely, when we choose to live God’s way of life, we do miss out on a lot of what the world calls “fun.” The question before us is simply which things we are willing to miss out on.

Our children will sometimes face direct temptations and persecution. Very often, however, Satan comes at them with gentle invitations that make disobedience to God sound fun, adventurous, or even religious. Parents need to help their children learn that obedience to God is more important than following worldly traditions based in paganism. We should not covet those things that are neither ours nor God’s—whether those things are property, ideas, or celebrations. Parents can help their children see that the world around them is missing out on the blessings of living God’s way of life—blessings that our children can have access to today.