The Love of Father and Mother

The United States celebrates two parent-themed holidays this time of year: Mother’s Day in May and Father’s Day in June. While the Bible does not give us any specific days on which to celebrate our parents, the Fifth Commandment reminds us, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12). While many pagan traditions infest similar holidays around the world, thankfully these modern American holidays are based on civil traditions that do not have their roots in paganism.

Even without a national Father’s Day and Mother’s Day, the commandment of God still stands—and is applicable 365 days a year! Those who devalue the basic family structure of father, mother, and children miss out on a vital key to understanding God. Understanding that God is a Family, and an expanding family at that, is one of the most profound truths that the Bible reveals, and you can learn more about it by ordering our booklet John 3:16: Hidden Truths of the Golden Verse or by reading it right here at TomorrowsWorld.org.

Most who are familiar with Scripture know that one member of the God Family is called the Father. This title is found hundreds of times in the Bible, primarily in the New Testament. Jesus Christ is known as the Son, and as the “firstborn among many brethren” (Romans 8:29), He will be joined by converted Christians who will be resurrected to become full sons and daughters of God when Christ returns at the end of this age.

These are amazing truths that help us understand the nature of God, His prophetic plan for mankind, and our eternal destiny. Do we also allow these truths to guide how we behave in our own families? As parents, we should try to love our children as God loves us. Even though God’s title is Father, He describes His love as the perfect combination of fatherly and motherly love: Isaiah 49:15 and Matthew 23:37 compare God’s love for His people to motherly love, and many verses do the same for fatherly love (e.g. Hebrews 12:3–11).

Discernment of Proper Discipline

While this all might sound simple in theory, complications come when we try to make the rubber meet the road. As parents, we often find ourselves in situations where we struggle to answer a simple question: What does love look like in this moment? When we look to the Bible, we find examples of both protection and exposure, forgiveness and discipline as God works with His people. As parents we often must decide when to rescue our children from the consequences of their actions and when to let them suffer those consequences.

This requires parents to pray for God’s guidance in handling difficult situations. In 1 Corinthians 13, we see 16 different descriptions of love—from being patient and kind to not rejoicing in iniquity. The Bible reminds us that when our children need discipline, it sometimes needs to be sterner and sometimes softer, just as God handles us. We should aim to help our children grow and develop in the same way that God does for all His children.

When we encounter situations that require us to discipline our children, it’s important to pause and ask ourselves questions that can help us calibrate that discipline: How severe was the offense? Is this the first time my child did this, or is it a continuing issue? Is this misbehavior more rooted in confusion or in rebellion? Ultimately, we want to make sure our discipline is in measure with how we would want God to treat us as His children. As we grow in faith, we will recognize that there are times when we need God’s soft and instantly forgiving nature—and other times, when we may need to suffer consequences in order to learn.

Help and Encouragement

Beyond discipline, parents should also model hope for their children. If we are too harsh with our children, we risk provoking them to wrath, which God warns us against through the Apostle Paul (Ephesians 6:4). What parents do not hope for the best for their children? Yes, we must discipline them, but that should never mean that we do not have hope for their future. In fact, discipline is often an expression of our hope!

But do we verbalize this to our children? Parents must make time to tell their children that they love them and are excited to see them grow. Even when they are driving us crazy, we must keep the big picture in mind: We know they are growing up and will eventually become adults. My children have occasionally worried that one bad decision can define their character. As parents, while we must discipline appropriately, we also must help our children to not fall into discouragement!

We can take these opportunities to talk to our children about how God works with us—that no matter how big of a mistake we make, we can be forgiven and move forward. God is focused on the big picture with His children, just as we should be with ours. He tells us that He waits for us to repent and celebrates when we do (Luke 15:1–24).

God knows we are more than just one confused decision or one harmful action. While this also applies to us as adults, how grateful are we that we are not condemned for our childhood and teenage decisions? When we work with our children, we should help them to see that our hope for them is rooted in our faith that God has hope in all of our development.

Fulfillment and Reward

Finally, do we as parents help our children understand the joy of God by creating an atmosphere of joy at home? The Bible reveals that God is enacting His plan because it will bring a joyous conclusion when His full family is revealed. At the same time, He also offers joy to His followers during this age, even if our experiences now are just a shadow of things to come.

As parents, do we reward good behavior and seek to have fun with our children? Parents should look to create enjoyable household traditions, play games, and find opportunities to laugh as a family. Children often give their parents opportunities to celebrate alongside them as they play a sport, learn a musical instrument, or ace an exam. They won’t get a hit every time they’re at bat, nor will they play every note exactly on key or ace every test. But when they do well and grow, working hard and achieving their goals, it warrants praise and celebration! And when they try and fall short, they still need encouragement.

Parents should also show their children how to have genuine and wholesome fun in a world that often equates fun with sin. There are plenty of good ways to play, laugh, and be entertained without breaking God’s law. Parents should embrace the opportunity to show their children that God desires joy for His children—indeed, this is one of the best assignments to have as a parent!

God designed us to learn about Him through the family structure He ordained. Parents will never be perfect, but we must pray for opportunities to give our children a foretaste of God’s love, hope, and joy while they are maturing in our families, showing them how deeply they can trust that same God to guide them throughout their lives.